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Forward and Backward
I haven’t been posting lately because I felt like I reached a nice plateau in my mental wellness. Summer has certainly been an important factor and also the opening of U.S. cities given our lucky vaccination break. And of course one should be able to take a break from too much introspection. It’s exhausting work […]
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That Time I had a Wild Panic Attack in a BART Station
Six years ago I walked onto an outbound BART train at Montgomery Station after work. It was like any ordinary day taking the train home except for the fact that I was particularly incensed by work issues as a then land use planner. Clients were being difficult and I felt trapped. As the doors closed, […]
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A Compassionate Letter to Yourself
The group session prompted us to write a compassionate letter to ourselves. Now after a few weeks I’m looking back and thinking how short and simple it was. Typically when I write notes to my therapist, it’s a barrage of meaningful meaninglessness. Why was I treating myself so succinctly. Seems like I’m acknowledging my terrible […]
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Dealing with Uncertainty, Higher Power, and FOMO
I learn so much about what’s happening to me by hearing others convey the same experience. This week’s group therapy dealt with uncertainty. It was so incredible to hear others share their health anxiety thoughts and immediately I felt relieved to know I wasn’t the only one dealing with them. Of course I’ve prowled the […]
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Pandemic Misery and The Power of Now
I can’t believe I am only now reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I probably heard Oprah championing it growing up but I never paid attention to any spirituality teaching. This book would have been way more helpful had I read it at the start of my 20s. Like many things in life […]
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Drawing Grief and Loss
Every week I join this lovely therapy group over Zoom and each week is a thematic exercise. This week we were asked to draw what our grief looked like when the loss happened and what it looks like now. I also learned that grief means the internal reactions we do to process loss. Mourning is […]
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Secretly Living Trauma, Dealing with Covert Avoidance
In looking into the anxious side of ambivalent attachment, I was really struck by the idea of covert avoidance strategies. Right now with my therapist I’m working through what strategies I use to deal with the world in a way that is so automatic, I don’t even know I’m doing it. The show WandaVision is […]
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How I Do Panic Attacks
What happens during a panic attack? I always find it refreshing to read new posts on Reddit from people experiencing their first panic attack. So many body systems engage that it’s hard to know what causes what. I just had one the other day and would like to share my symptoms which I hope will […]